The Story
by Kitsune Kurayami
Summary: Pure random-ness. A story staring the MARAUDERS, ourselves, Freddy and Jason (the horror flick freaks) AND the occational guest appearance of other characters (at least I think?). Anywho, written by me and some Friends. It's real funny, so just read it!
1. Part 1

A/N: A MUST READ!!!!

This is not actually the first chapter. I made about 5 before this one, but I'm not gonna post them up cause I find them quite boring and pointless at some stages. If there is something that refers to one of those chapters then I'll put the scene that it refers to at the bottom of the page. This chapter was created by James. Where it says James, it's him (as in a real person) and James P is James Potter. Don't blame me for the messed up personality of James P, blame James. If you don't understand the 'slang' go ask someone else, cause I ain't gonna put it up here. It's far too dirty for my little mind (once again, blame James). If you're desperate to know, then review and ask for the definition. Then I may consider posting it. But trust me, it ain't pretty!  
  
ANYWAYZ... on with the story!  
  
Bel: Ok Steph, be prepared, it's time for war! Oh, quick message to James, Oh yes, nice to see you are well! And congrats on your red apron! (Deviant art is stuffed)  
  
Steph: You think you can write a better story than me?  
  
Bel: Hell, if I can't at least I can always kill you off  
  
Steph: NEVER! Pulls out bitch claws  
  
Bel: Your bitchclaws are nothing- Nothing compared to my Samurai Sword of Doom  
  
Steph: Does freaky Xena scream and attacks  
  
Bel: NOooooo not xena! Half turn roundhouse kick and kicks Steph in face. Steph lands on floor...  
  
Steph: Hiss, Hiss... evil bitch claws begin scratching  
  
(in step Jason and Freddy)  
  
Freddy: Its tag team time, bitch  
  
Jason: ......  
  
(the two high five and step up)  
  
Steph: I'll take the freak with the claws!  
  
Bel: Your machette ain't got nothing on my sword!  
  
epic battle ensues  
  
Sirius: this is on crack  
  
James P: Yo! I'm supposed to be pimpin' these fine hunnys!  
  
Remus: Relax James, your time will come, your time will come  
  
James P: What's that even mean?  
  
Peter: DID YOU JUST CALL JAMES GAY!?  
  
James P: That's it! I'm SO kicking your ass! (proceeds to kick the ever- loving shit outta Gasp Peter)  
  
Peter: (while being beaten to a bloody pulp) you'll regret this in the future James!  
  
James P: Prove it!  
  
Peter: I would, but then it would ruin the foreshadowing effect!  
  
James P: (stops and thinks) true, so i'll just continue to beat the ever loving piss outta you!  
  
Bel: HEY!  
  
Steph: What about us?  
  
James P: I'll beat you later, and by beat i mean Mac! and by later, i mean tonight!  
  
Bel: damn non-aussie slang  
  
Freddy: wait! You didn't finish fighting us!  
  
James: No need! (enters with a poof and snaps his fingers and Jason and Freddy are bound magically)  
  
Freddy: so what? we just loose?  
  
James: yeah sounds good...  
  
Jason: .....  
  
Freddy: (looking at Jason) Don't even think about it bub!


	2. Part 2

A/N: This chapter is also done by James. Note that Mike Myers is not the actor but some freak from a horror flick. Strange story behind him. At first we didn't get who he was so James had to explain. That now makes three horror movie characters (Freddy, Jason, and Mike Myers).  
  
After the skirmish with Jason and Freddy beat, they retired to their cabin of DOOM on Crystal Lake, just off of Elm Street (apparently)  
  
Freddy: We need more help! You suck Jason!  
  
Jason: ......  
  
Freddy: Don't back talk me! You're like a big dumb dog who can't stop eating! (to self) he, thats a good one  
  
Jason: ......  
  
Freddy: What? Cat got yer tongue? hehe  
  
Shijin: Actually, i think i can help you guys  
  
Freddy: Who the hell are you  
  
Shijin: I'm Bel, Stephanie, and James' Friend! I've come to help you!  
  
Freddy: But why? I mean, you're their friend!  
  
Shijin: (shyly and stuttering) I-I know! I, I just wanna do something backstabby, ya know. Cause. Yeah. (more confidant now) I can be evil if want!  
  
Freddy: OK! OK! Jeeze, what do you have in mind?  
  
Shijin: Recruit more help! Like, this fellow here! (steps aside to reveal)  
  
Shatner: Hiya  
  
Freddy: Aww, he's hideous!  
  
Jason: .....  
  
Shijin: NOT HIM! (pushes Shatner outta the way) HIM!  
  
Mike Myers: .... (waves)  
  
(meanwhile back at some mall someplace, the Marauders, Bel, Steph, and the new addition to the group, James, sit and drink various drinks.... On Sirius expense account)  
  
Sirius: Why me?  
  
Remus: Cause! You're the most popular!  
  
James P: Sirius, my main man, relax and enjoy the company of these, these (looks at James, then back at Bel and Steph) These TWO fine ladies!  
  
Peter: what about his lad? (pointing to James)  
  
James P: what about him?  
  
Remus: Uh, Steph. My arm.  
  
Steph: Yes! its so soft and comfy! (squeezes arm)  
  
Remus: You're hurting it  
  
Steph: i know (still clinging)  
  
Bel: HEY! how DARE you wait till now to give me a line! (strangles James)  
  
James: To be fare, I haven't had a line till now either!  
  
Leonard: what about me! I dropped out of the story entirely! till now. What was I doing again?  
  
Sirius: Making an ass of yourself?  
  
James P: Sounds right, yep  
  
(all nod in agreement)  
  
James: HEY! less attention on the guy making an ass of himself and more on me! I want to be important! Shower me with affection! (pulls out Holy Java (A/N: that's the name of his guitar) and starts to play "Gotta have Faith" for no apparent reason)  
  
Bel: This is nonsense mate  
  
Steph: but funny as hell! (whips out a camera and takes a picture)  
  
Leonard: No one out asses me! (starts to do messed up dance again)  
  
James: Bring it on buddy! (continues to play random tunes on Holy Java)  
  
James P: (stepping in the way) anyway, ladies! Why don't we take our mango Smoothies back to my Hotel room!  
  
Sirius: When did you get a Hotel room? And, I'm almost afraid to ask, how did you pay for it?  
  
James P: I snagged some money from you.  
  
Sirius: how did i know  
  
Remus: Yes (prying Stephanie off his arm) lets head out of this stuff place.  
  
Steph: Sure! sounds fun!  
  
Bel: Why do i have a bad feeling about this (eyeing James)  
  
James: Don't look at me....  
  
Leonard: (interrupting) YES! LOOK AT ME!  
  
Hours later they all arrive at the Hotel (including James and Leonard, still battling for attention)  
  
Sirius: Damn, I'm gonna be poor by the end of this trip.  
  
Peter: Yes! It IS rather odd that we just suddenly appeared in Australia with no background information as to how or why we are here!  
  
Sirius: Peter?  
  
Peter: yeah?  
  
Sirius: Shut it!  
  
Peter: I hate being the hated one! Why can't i be cool like you 3!  
  
James: Cause you're a RAT!  
  
Peter: You say it as if it's a BAD thing  
  
James P: Anyhoo! I think its time that me, and these ladies got more acquainted in my, Hotel Suite!  
  
Sirius: So long as you got us a suite I guess its ok you spent my money.  
  
James P: Who said this, WE stuff? I got ME a suite, you guys are in the motel across the street  
  
Sirius: You mean that rickety looking, almost death-trap-like motel across that 8 lane highway?  
  
James P: Yup. That's the one  
  
Sirius: I'm gonna kill you  
  
Peter: No need! Voldamort will do so someday!  
  
Sirius: Shut up! I'm going to kill you too!  
  
James P: Now, if you don't mind! (putting arm around Bel and Steph)  
  
Bel: OH GOD! It IS happening! This is all YOUR FAULT (pointing to James) and I'm powerless to do anything about it! (looking around) yet...  
  
JUST THEN! the Hotel door burst down and out step  
  
Shijin: MEET THE DREAM TEAM! Or was it Nightmare team? I forget. BUT MEET THEM!  
  
Freddy: HEY HEY CHILDREN! It's me again!  
  
Jason: ..... (gives West Side symbol)  
  
Mike Myers: ..... (crosses arms and nods, badass style)  
  
Shijin: And ME! their dark queen leader!  
  
Bel,Steph&James: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Shijin: (yelling) DON'T LAUGH! I CAN BE EVIL IF I WANT!  
  
James P: (putting arm around Shijin) Ya know, I always thought evil chicks were hot.  
  
Shijin: Oo (A/N: Note that this is one of those googley eye things, ya know, kinda shocked looking face. There's meant to be an underscore for a mouth but is not letting me put in a underscore...)   
  
James: PEDOPHILE!  
  
James P: That's it mate! First you take my name and reduce me to James P, and now your calling me names! Bring it!  
  
James: Gladly!  
  
(magic battle ensues)  
  
Shijin: Wait! No! your supposed to fight my minions of evil!  
  
Bel&Steph: What minions?  
  
Shijin: What? (turning around to see Mike Myers, Jason, and Freddy already beat up) HEY!  
  
Bel: (to Freddy & Jason) That's for stealing my High Five! Only I can do that!  
  
Freddy: Oh, I've yet to KILL someone!  
  
Jason: .....  
  
Freddy: Shut it!  
  
Shijin: awww, crap, does this mean I suck at being evil?  
  
Bel: (nods)  
  
Shijin: Then whatever. I'm joining you guys now!  
  
All: YAY!  
  
Sirius: NO!  
  
A/N: If you're all wondering who the hell Leonard is and what is this dance we're talking about here is the scene it is referring to:  
  
Bel: (looks ahead) Hey! That looks like Leonard!

Sirius: Who?

Bel: Leonard! (smiles)

Leonard: (sees Belinda with another Guy) (thinking – NOOOOO!!!!!!)

Bel: Hey Leonard!

Leonard: (depressed) hi...

Bel: What's wrong?

Leonard: nothing....

Steph: Are you ok mate?

Leonard: (stares daggers at Sirius) Actually, no, no I'm not!

Remus: How come?

Leonard: CAUSE THAT BASTARD STOLE MY FUTURE WIFE (points accusingly at Sirius)

Bel: Oo

Everyone else: Oo

Leonard: :(

Sirius: o...k.......

Leonard: GIVE HER BACK OR FACE MY AWSOME KARATE WRATH OF DOOM (does stupid kung-fu-type pose)

Sirius: =.=;;

Leonard: FINE! I'll just have to steal her heart away yet again!

James P: And how are you gonna do that mate? (snickers)

Leonard: (taking off shirt)

Steph: What exactly are you doing?!

Leonard: I shall preform.... MY DEDICATED TO BELINDA 'CHINESE LOVE DANCE'!!!! (begins doing shirtless karate form)

All: Oo (very, very shocked)

(offstage)

Sirius: and don't forget disturbed! Very VERY disturbed!!! 

James P: I have to agree there!

Remus: Definitely!

(back onstage)   
  
So Leonard preforms his 'Chinese Love Dance' to Belinda, who is watching and looking very impressed indeed, however...  
  
Leonard: Well...? (finishes) what do you say to that! (looks very proud)

Bel: well....

Leonard: (looks slightly worried now)

Bel: Is was fantastic and all but...

Leonard: (thinking - OH NO! she said but! SHE SAID BUT!!!) Yeah...?

Bel: but it'll never compare to magic!!! (grabs Sirius' arm)

Sirius: (smiles and sweatdrops)

Leonard: I'll get my revenge! You just wait and see! No body and I mean NOBODY steals my woman!!!

Bel: (continues hugging Sirius' arm)

Leonard: (storms off)


	3. Part 3

A/N: This chapter was written by Shijin! Some jokes in 'The Story' are inside ones from MSN convos we've had. Like the crayon comment in here.  
  
(Shijin looks appraisingly at everybody. Smirks. Turns to Bel.)  
  
Shijin: Who the hell are these people? And who's the pedophile. (nudges James P. in the ribs) BACK OFF!  
  
Bel: err these are our FRIENDS. This is James Potter(James P. for short) This is Remus Lupin, he's a werewolf! Cool huh? (Shijin: O.o) This is Sirius Black and this is Peter Pettigrew.  
  
Shijin: ok ok whatever. That'll do. (walks over to Freddy and Jason and kicks them out of the room and down the stairs.)  
  
Mike Miyers: Groovy! (skips out to his own theme song) (A/N: LOL! Seems she also miss understood which 'Mike Myers' this was. We had to get James to explain to us.)  
  
Shijin: well anyways....I'm Shijin and I'm gonna wander aimlessly with all of you. I'm a very nice person really.  
  
Bel and James: NO YOURE NOT!  
  
Shijin: BE QUIET!  
  
James P: well personally I'm glad to meet you (tries to kiss Shijin's hand) You can call me Prongs. Since I'm sure where gonna be great friends.  
  
Remus: Don't go hitting on her, James (P)!  
  
Sirius: Personally, I don't think we can trust her at all. She tried to help Freddy and Jason!  
  
Bel: She said I'm not the brightest Crayon in the box  
  
Steph: well you're not.....  
  
James: AND she almost beat me at checkers!!  
  
Everybody: O.o  
  
Shijin: (in a strained voice) well.... I'm different NOW! I'm better! I'm an angel. I bought a diamond halo at Tiffanies and everything. And ....  
  
(In a flash changes in a angel costume, snaps fingers and angelic music begins to play from the hidden speakers)  
  
I am a reformed sinner!!  
  
Steph: err....you tail is showing.  
  
Bel: and the blond wig can't hide those horns....  
  
Shijin: (yells at wardrobe advisor) I told you the dress is too short!  
  
James P.: I don't think its too short....(grins seductively)  
  
(tries to feel up Shijin)  
  
Shijin: Why you....!!! (backhands James P.)  
  
Peter: SQUEAK!! (transforms into a rat and hides under the bed)  
  
(Shijin's eyes widen. She turns into a calico cat and starts chasing Peter. She catches him and begins toying with him getting ready to eat him.)  
  
Remus: NOOOO! That's our friend! (Tries to take Peter away from Shijin.)  
  
Sirius and James P.: oh yea.....  
  
(Bel and Steph try to help Remus, finally freeing him. Bel holds Shijin, as Shijin tries to scratch her eyes out)  
  
James: Change back, JULIA!  
  
(Shijin freezes up and suddenly changes back to normal)  
  
Shijin: I told you not to call me by that name!!!  
  
James P.: that's the only way to make you come to your senses.  
  
Peter: (also transformed) K-k-keep h-her a-away from m-m-m-me!! (shudders)  
  
Shijin: Its your fault! Why'd you transform in front of me! It triggers the cat in me!  
  
Remus: Because he probably got scared...so he transformed without thinking.  
  
Shijin: Do all of you transform??  
  
James P: (enthusiastically) Yes!! I turn into a STAG!!  
  
Shijin: what the heck is a stag??  
  
Bel: it's like a deer...I think...  
  
Shijin: a deer? (starts cracking up)  
  
James P.: WHAT?  
  
Shijin: (sings) Rudolf the red nose rein deer! La la la la la (continues humming teasingly at James P.)  
  
James P: (turns red) Why you little.....!!!! 


	4. Part 4

A/N: YAY! A part by me (Steph)! I couldn't think about anything when writing this so please try to ignore the disturbing beginning about my dad..... I can so write better then this! This was written during a writer's block! Please do not judge the whole story through my shit chapter!  
  
Just so you know I'm dieing from my dad's farts =.=;; literally...

Sirius: You're dieing from your dad's farts?

Steph: yea, he's in the toilet doing shit and GOD does it smell, Not to mention my room is right next to the toilet, and I'm at my computer which is in my room and the smell is getting trapped in here with me.

James P: Then let me take you away to 'another' room (steps towards Steph)

Steph: Like hell you will! (goes behind Remus)

Remus: =.=;;

Bel: You keep away from us you sex-crazed bastard!

James P: I am not! I am just emotionally challenged! I can't help that I can't control myself.

Shijin: (looks at James) Why are you laughing?

James: Cause I just thought of the best thing to put next time it's my turn! (HA! Take that Mr Canadian Slang Shit! Now ya gotta put something real good come your turn!)

Shijin: I'm afraid to ask... (pauses) hmm...

Sirius: What is it?

Shijin: Spellcheck doesn't like my name...

All: o..k....

Shijin: Well it doesn't! See? There's a red squiggly line under it!

Sirius: Aww yeah! (sees squiggle) You mustn't be real then! (begins poking Shijin) S

hijin: Hey! Stop that!

Sirius: (continues poking)  
  
James: Where the hell are you taking this anyway? You've crapped on about nothing!

Steph: (stares daggers at James)

James P: Awww, come on Bel, don't be like that!

Bel: (struggles against James P) Let go of me you Perv! (punches James P in face)

James P: Oo (pauses) actually, that turned me on....

Bel: ...shit....

James P: (arm around Bel) I like em feisty!

Bel: Oo

James: (snickers)

Bel: Shut up you! It's all your fault! (points accusingly)

James: What?!

Bel: You made him like this! (gestures to James P)

James: So?

Bel: I will have my revenge...

James: I ain't got no problem with it.

Bel: Yea! That's cause you ain't a girl in the line of fire with this freak!

James: My point exactly! (stupid smile)

Bel: (evil voice) You shall die for your treachery!

James: Like shit I will! (sticks out tongue)

Peter: Are we still in Australia?

James P: course we are you little fuckwit!

Peter: why me?  
  
A/N: Notice there is a lot of language going on here! Also notice how uninventive the author is, trying to create a better story with use of swearing (Steph: HEY!) Admit it! It's true! (Steph: humph) Anywayz... CONTIINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
James P: let's go to Bel's house!

Bel: (glares)

Sirius: ok! Least I'll save me money this time!  
  
They all suddenly appear at Bel's house  
  
Shijin: That's some drive way you got there! That thing's steep as!

Bel: Never try driving up it... trust me, you'll get stuck...  
  
Everyone enters the house, it is empty. Why you ask? Cause it'd be no fun if her parents were home! Nothing interesting would happen.  
  
James P: So... you got you, you're parents and... how many brothers was it?

Bel: (cautious) ...3

James P: then that's (counts off fingers) 5 bedrooms. HELL YEA!!! (does victory sign)

Bel: You're not thinking what I think you're thinking?! AND DON'T YOU GO STEALIN' MY VICTORY SIGN!!!

James P: come o' feisty one! And we shall... (unable to finish due to being whacked over head by a crow bar)

All: (stare at James P then at Bel)

Bel: What?! (hides crow bar behind back innocently)

Steph: (latches onto Remus' arm) (See Bel! I don't mind being clingy!) (A/N: I may not mind being clingy but I ain't really like that! I ain't no girly-girl people!!!)

Sirius: COME! Let us raid the pantry! (runs to kitchen)

Shijin: YES! RAIDING IS EVIL!!! (follows)

Everyone else: riigghhhtttt......(goes to kitchen leaving James P on floor)  
  
(Off-stage)

Freddy: HEY! Why didn't I get to hit anyone?! That's seriously unfair!

Jason: ........

(yes, I discovered that Jason doesn't talk.... NOW I get it!)

Freddy: Shut up you!

Jason: ........

Freddy: Like hell you could!  
  
(back on-stage)  
  
Steph: Oww! I have a tooth ache. Stupid Mud Cake (and I'm serious I really do Oo remember how I ate the mud cake James? Yea, well it was too sweet and now look at me...) (throws rest of cake)

Bel: Hey! Don't make a mess!

James P: (cake lands on him some how) huh? (wakes up... duh!)

Bel and Steph: (stare at James P with foreboding dread)

James P: what happened? (rubs head) why do I have a lump on my head?

Bel: (quickly hides crow bar in washing machine) (nervous) wouldn't have a clue...

James P: (eyes Bel suspiciously)

All: (holds breath)

James: (snickers then chokes on food) ( :D MWA HA HA!!! Take that evil slang man!)

Sirius: (hits James on back in hope to un-lodge food)

James: Oi! Stop that! It doesn't help you idiot!

Sirius: (stops) ok

James: Your story sucks... AGAIN!

Steph: Shut it slang man!

James: Make me bitch!

Steph: Bring it on dipshit!

James P: HOLD IT ASS HOLE!!! (grabs James' collar holding him back)

James: Oi! What do you think you're doing?

Steph: (sneaks outta scene with Bel and crew)

Bel: HA HA! We escaped the treacherous Jameses!!! Long live US!!! (does victory sign) And no one, NO ONE, steals my victory sign!!!

Steph: (back on Remus)

Remus: Why me?

Steph: Just cause! (smiles broadly)

Remus: just.... cause?

Shijin: Oi! You forget about me or something?

All: (stare at Shijin)

Steph: Actually... yea we did forget.

Shijin: HOW CAN I BE EVIL IF I'M NOT EVEN IN THE STORY!!!!

Bel: I dunno, you're the evil master mind...

Shijin: (proud) Why yes I am!

Sirius: This story's getting boring.... Stop crapping on and get something to happen already!

Peter: So far this is three pages of nothingness....

Sirius: You're still here?

Peter: course I am!

Sirius:.... why?

Peter: =.=;;

Sirius: THIS IS BORING!!! HURRY UP!!!

James: There you all are!!!

James P: you trying to ditch us or something?

Bel: damn.... They found us....

Shijin: Quick! To Steph's house! We can loose them there!  
  
Suddenly they appear at Steph's house. Now be careful, you don't wanna go to the toilet here! There ain't no toilet paper... (all: riigghhtttt.......) It's true! Anyway...  
  
Shijin: Hurry! Under the bed! They'll never find us there!

Steph: No! wai--- damn too late (everyone goes under bed)

Sirius: Shit! What the hell is under here?! It's bloody dangerous!

Toilet paper minion: HAHA! Hostages for our war on people!

Bel: WTF?! Toilet paper minion: (gags her with paper)

Steph: (sweatdrops) so that's where all the toilet paper went...

James P: I know you're in here!

James: 'WE' know you're in here...

James P: Again what is with this 'we' business?

James: =.= shut up you

Toilet paper minion: We are minions dedicated to the Almighty Pineapple! You are compelled by our power!!!

James: What in the name of God is that?!?!?!

James P: of all people you should know there is no god!

James: I said shut up!

Toilet paper minion: Hey! Focus back here! (gestures to self)

Leonard: NO LOOK AT ME YOU FOOLS!!!!

Toilet paper Minion: Where'd you come from?

Leonard: None o' your beeswax! (looks around) Belinda my love! What have they done to you?! (un-gags Bel) Are you alright my sweet future wife? (attempts to hug Bel)

Bel: (struggles away) Get off me faggot!

Leonard: (loving sigh)

James: I see an opportunity arise!

All: ?????

James: Like I said before: "the maccing has only JUST BEGUN!!!!"

Bel: (extremely apprehensive) What are you getting at?

James: Two words...

Bel: What?

James: Chop chop...

BeL: Oo (runs)

James: LHAO (note h = his)

James P: So who gets it?

James: =.= Shove it 'P' man! (pushes James P outta scene)  
  
A/N: Bet you're wondering what the hell the Almighty Pineapple is? Well, in this scene Bel wanted a mango ice drink thingy, so they're looking around the shopping centre for a drink shop. This scene is just before the CLD (chinese love dance) scene.  
  
Remus: (raises eyebrow) The Almighty Pineapple?

James P: yea-h.... (looks suspiciously at it)

Bel: Hey! You don't have any mango!

Lady: Read the sign twit! PINEAPPLE!

Man: So... Wanna pineapple?

Bel: NO! I want MANGO!

Man: Well you're not getting MANGO, you're gonna have PINEAPPLE!

Steph: then we'll just have to go to another shop mate.

Lady: Oh no you won't! You're gonna have pineapple!

Peter: Why?

Lady: So we can 'convert' you! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!

All: ???

Man; You shall bow down to the power of the Almighty Pineapple!

James P: Who the hell are you people?!

Man; We believe in the Almighty Pineapple, we follow the religion of Fruitism, and now you shall join us!

Remus: But wouldn't that mean you follow all types of fruit?

Man: How DARE you contradict our beliefs!

Lady: Our goal in life is to convert everyone under the power and greatness of the Almighty Pineapple!

Sirius: You've got to be kidding me....

Lady: There'll be no kidding around here little boy. Now surrender or be Fruitified (aims nozzle of pineapple juice at us)

James P, Sirius and Remus: (step forward protectively in front of Steph, Bel and Peter) (brings out wands at the ready)  
  
(offstage)

Sirius: Hey! You wanna get us expelled or something?! We can't do magic outside of school!

Steph: Well it's my fic so I can do ANYTHING! Such as NOT get you expelled! (hint hint – as in I can do whatever I like)

Sirius: Oh... right, that's ok then! (back on stage)  
  
Lady; So – Not gunna give in hey? Fine! Have it your way you little ungrateful anti-pineappleists! (about to spray them with pineapple acids)

Remus: Oh no you don't! EXPELLIARMUS! (the nozzles went flying out of the Man and Lady's hands)

James P: Flipendo! (the pineapple juice tanks blew up)

Sirius: Wingardium Leviosa!

All: What the...? (looks up) oh!  
  
Floating in the air above the Man and Lady was a Giant Pineapple that was placed on display at the top of the shop.  
  
Sirius: (smirk) ( puts down wand causing giant pineapple to fall)

Man and Lady: Ahhhhh!!!!!

James: I think you just killed them mate...

Sirius: (shrugs)


End file.
